2. Relax and Release

By Rob Smith

A key to the Relax and Release (R & R) process, in my opinion, is in what Mickey refers to as "relaxing the heart." Most of the 'disturbances' that cause us to want to R & R have their origin in the heart (more accurately, in our inability to handle our heart) - - when we first experienced something 'painful' we didn't want to feel it, so we pushed it down (repressed it). Which of course never works, it just comes back stronger later. So, you first must NOTICE the disturbance as it starts to ‘come up’ (see the other file on the ‘noticing game’ for more details on this), if YOU (your higher Self/Spirit/Soul) doesn't notice it, it will grow and take over your consciousness, and then you will cause even more of a mess by trying to get people and situations the way you want so they will fit YOUR mess, and so that you won’t have to feel that way anymore.  Sad, but true - that’s how most people operate. It CAN work for short periods of time, but it ALWAYS reverts back to the ‘same old same old’ as you haven’t dealt with the underlying conditioning that is causing these disturbances.

   We’ve all had the experience of at some point saying to ourselves, “Wow, I am acting like a complete idiot!”  Well, it’s not the ‘complete idiot’ part of ourselves (the lower self/ego) that’s doing the noticing, IT would be happy to remain in this state as long as possible! :~)  What’s happened is that our Higher Self (Soul, Spirit, etc.) has ‘made an appearance’ in our psyche and we are now looking at that ‘idiocy’ from a higher perspective, from where we can actually do something about it (such as relaxing and then feeling the sensation of the ‘disturbance’ in our body).  And the earlier you notice the disturbance, the better, because everything is easier to deal with when it first starts to come up. Just like a weed is easy to pull up when it first sprouts, if you wait a few months it can be a real hassle. So, make it a game to see how quicky you can notice that a disturbance has started to 'blossom' in your psyche.  One thing I heard Mickey say is that 90% of spiritual growth is in the noticing!  If you catch it early enough, it will be at the 'physical sensation' level (you will be able to feel a tightness, or tension, or something like that in your body, most likely in your heart or gut). If it takes a while to notice it, by then you will probably be all caught up in it and will be having LOTS of thoughts about how to ‘make it better inside by changing people or things outside.’

 Now that you've noticed it (at whatever stage, it's just that it's easier if early on), the first step is to ‘relax.’  This involves intentionally relaxing several of your major muscle groups, such as your neck, your shoulders, your stomach area, etc.  When you put your attention on relaxing, you ‘disconnect’ from the disturbance you noticed at the beginning of this process.  In other words, your attention (which is your consciousness) is no longer involved with the disturbance -- you are no longer ‘feeding it’ with your energy (chi, prana, shakti, whatever you want to call it).  After a minute or two of relaxing the muscles, you may find that the disturbance is gone (either partially or completely).  If it’s gone completely, great!  If not, put your 'attention' on the disturbance itself and feel it fully.  By ‘disturbance’ I mean a ‘sensation’ somewhere in your body, usually in your heart or gut area.  By ‘feel it fully’ I mean that you pay close attention to it, as if you were going to have to describe it to someone. 

  Your attention is really the same as your awareness, or ‘pure consciousness’, which is your Spirit and which is the ultimate healing power. Even though it may be uncomfortable, keep your attention on what the sensation in your heart or gut feels like. This does two things, 1. it further relaxes the heart or gut, and 2. you have started the process of releasing it because you have 'moved away from it' as you are now ‘witnessing’  (or noticing) the disturbance from what the Buddhists call your ‘seat of the Self,’ Christians would call this your Soul or Spirit.  This witnessing actually removes the energy from the disturbance, because your energy is now centered in your Self (soul, spirit) and the disturbance will ‘fall away’ by itself as you are no longer holding it inside you (either consciously or subconsciously).

 This is what Mickey calls the ‘leaning away’ part - when you ‘lean away’ from something (such as your lower self/ego) you are automatically ‘leaning into’ something else (your Higher Self, your Spirit, the ‘witness’.)   As Mickey says, the solution to everything is in the Witness.   In other words, You (your Higher Self/Soul/Spirit) hasn't gotten “overshadowed,” or “lost,”  because of the feeling in the heart; you've haven't gotten all caught up in this and then made a big deal of it 'out in the world.' 

 By doing this R & R process you are developing the ability to watch your emotions from a calm place just as you are now able to watch most ‘things’ in your field of vision without getting caught up in them (in a negative sense).  You are now 'working at the root' and this is THE most effective spiritual technique there is. Every time you do this a samskara (a Sanskrit word for some old conditioning/scar that you have stored up in your psyche because you originally didn’t want to deal with it) is released (fully or partially).  As you continue this practice you will find your mind gets more and more peaceful.... because it has less and less to think about as you keep releasing samskaras!  It’s only the old conditioning/memories that keep coming up (because we originally repressed them) that cause virtually all of our anxieties, fears, etc. etc.  When you learn to handle your heart (by doing the R & R process every time you feel a disturbance), you won’t have to ‘go to your mind’ to try and figure out how to get people and situations to change to fit your ‘mess,’ so you’ll find yourself feeling increasingly peaceful without all that ‘mind activity.’

So, to sum it up: when you first notice a ‘disturbance in the force’ :~)  immediately do the simple R & R practice.... relax some of your muscles, then find the place in your body where there is some tension or anxiety and put your attention on that sensation and feel it fully.  This will allow the suppressed energy to be released, and you WILL feel better! :~)  Note that a few ‘samskaras’ (emotional scars) are deeper and stronger and may take several repetitions of the R &R practice to resolve... but that’s ok, what’s more important than doing this??? :~)

  Please give this a try, and feel free to ask me any questions about this if it isn't clear. Peace, Rob Smith.